literature

Parrot Rant

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Literature Text

A rant by my parrot to my sister.


WHO ARE YOU TO INVADE MY HOME, YOU BLONDE BEAST

Every so often, you reappear. A bright haired monster. You try to ply me with food, but I know your deal. I will not fall prey to it! You who my beloved Food Dispenser tolerate, you who steals attention of the Dearest Male, to bewitch his attention by the flashing nightmare box.

You sit there, on the sofa thing, all pitiful and fake-injured, like a seagull begging for food, pretending to just be watching the nightmare box, pretending to be here because it's an easier "commute" - BUT I KNOW. I know you are here to steal Food Dispenser and Dearest Male from me. I'm watching you. I'm watching everything you do. You can't fool me, bitch.

You and your blonde crest. Mine is not is shiny, but it is far more colorful and beguiling than your tepid excuse for a crest. I will flounce about, showing Dearest Male that I am the healthiest female. I am the most colorful, the most bright! Food Dispenser isn't shiny at all, but she alone brings me non-poisoned food. UNLIKE YOU, YOU WHORE. DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU DID SOMETHING WITH THOSE WALNUTS. YOU THINK YOU CAN SNEAK YOUR SNEAKY WAYS BY ME? Piffle! I will throw these nuts on the floor before I accept them from you!

.... but I will not throw them too far. They are walnuts. I will simply wait till you are not looking. Then. Then I will retrieve the delicious nuts... fuck. The BEAST IS LOOKING AT ME. But.... walnuts. They are so tasty. BUT THEY COME FROM THE HANDS OF THE BEGUILER. She is stupid and colourless. She will not notice if I just....
I have a Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo. 

She is.... not very bright. 

This is what I imagine is going on in her tiny little brain. 
© 2015 - 2024 Mockingbirdflyaway
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